The Church Next Door
January 3, 2007Eugene Peterson, in his little collection of letters to a friend titled The Wisdom of Each Other: a conversation between spiritual friends
Recently someone shared in class that they noticed they had developed a broad and tolerant attitude toward church, attributing this to the diverse experiences he has had as he has moved quite a bit and attended many different kinds of churches. His list of “must-have’s” is comparatively shorter than the list he notices some Christians have who are looking for “the right church” or who do not go to church because there aren’t any “right” churches out there. I resonated with what he was saying. I have over the course of my life thus far experienced a great deal of diversity in my church experiences. This has resulted in a recognition that there are many, many things about denominations and non-denominations alike that are just not worth grumbling about. What I want to know when I walk into a church is, “Is ministry allowed here ?”
There is really only one ministry: to love, in Jesus’ name. This simple act takes many forms, of course, and requires cooperation with others in the body of Christ as those forms take shape. This simple ministry of Jesus among us and in us as the Church is what makes church, church. If you walk into a church, and the simple act of loving people is discouraged or artificially regulated or banned or reserved for a select few… now that’s a problem. But if you walk into a church and don’t like the music, or the altar is in the wrong location, or there are drums instead of a pipe organ, or the pastor preaches for an hour on one single verse of scripture each week instead of a topical series on something that applies to real life, or you have to sip from the communion cup instead of dip the bread, or the apostle’s creed is recited instead of Chris Tomlin’s latest worship song being sung… what of it? Yet these things are show-stoppers for some people. They simply could not abide needing to love anyone in the context of a church that allows coffee and donuts in the sanctuary, or makes people sit in pews, or doesn’t have a sunday-school class between two services, or meets on Saturday night instead of Sunday morning, or … I could go on.
I wondered to myself today in class what would happen to our level of “community” if beginning this Sunday, all Christians were only allowed to travel walking-distance to Church, and bound to attend that single, walking-distance church for an entire year. And what if during that year, the primary purpose of attendance was to know and love everyone in the congregation (I’m assuming these churches will be smallish)~ love them like Jesus does. Forget whether the preaching is good (just go home and read your bible after church, or start a bible study group with 9 other people in your home, to make up for it) or whether the music is not your ‘style’ (listen to what you like on your iPod as you walk home) or whether there isn’t a youth group for your kids (start one!) or whether you disagree with the doctrine (who believed everything exactly the same anyway, even in that church you used to attend that was 30 miles from home).
What would happen during a year like that, were you to participate in such an experiment? I’d love to know what you think…
Oh my gosh. I totally want to try it. There is a little Lutheran church just up in the next block from my house. Now I think I may have to go visit. What a great post, Susan.
It would be life changing!
I am a pastor, and I would love to go to the nearest church.
There is a lot of wisdom in this posting. I am going to link to it in my blog and get it to my church. The list of “deal breakers” that people have in church shopping is stunning. You hit on some of them. In my heart as a pastor I have no desire to cater to these lists. I have never cared myself and can’t care about what people care about. I know what’s going on and the consumerism so cheapens the church experience. The church soon becomes people just showing up and the core exhausting themselves to keep them coming – it’s about nickles and noses. Stop the madness. Who is going to help us stop the madness?
[...] the madness! Who is going to stop the madness? Susan at The Philosophical Pastor has a posting we all need to read. The church has become about people’s tastes in worship and [...]
Jan,
Do let me know how it goes!
Don,
I know the feeling: the last ministry position I took was hardly next door. It was 50 miles away ~ so I picked up and moved.
“the church soon becomes people just showing up and the core exhausting themselves to keep them coming…” you write. So true, I’m afraid. Its easy to get excited about more people coming to your church until you realize they are driving in from 30 miles away, will use that as an excuse not to participate in anything other than the Sunday morning gathering, and expect to be able to put their kids in the nursery and eat the donuts and watch the “event” of the worship service (and sure, they might write a check every Sunday just like they’d pay for a movie and a babysitter) and go home and call that “church membership.” Next crisis that comes ’round, who will know them and love them well? Moreover, church membership was never about paying a few core members to put on a weekly event! (see Ephesians)
Ha!!! If I decided to attend the cozy little church that is closest to my house, I’d be at one of if not the largest church in the South Denver burbs
.
Could you elaborate at bit on this statement:”If you walk into a church, and the simple act of loving people is discouraged or artificially regulated or banned or reserved for a select few… now that’s a problem.”
I reacall once saying something similar to your comment on “not so good preaching.” I am rethinking that right now. No, I don’t expect perfect style and definitely don’t expect entertainment. Perhaps what I’m looking for is preaching in which the focus is to let the text, and subsequently the Lord, speak to the congregation…hmmm…
Love this post, Susan. It is a good rail against our convenience culture, our desires to want it our way “or the highway” kind of mentality. Maybe rejecting the perceived inconveniences of church in favor of being transformed by said “inconvenience” is really the key. It doesn’t make sense that transformation would happen in the ways I want it to happen, and boldly stepping out to an unfamiliar church (in my case) is a way of accepting transformation and holy influence.
My mind is only tracking one way lately (AV thinks I need to get back to teaching), and your post is encouraging! Thank you.
I can see the wisdom in this thinking. Growing up in the city, it was easy to find a church within walking distance. As an adult living in the suburbs and considering going back to church, one of my dreams was to be able to walk with my family on Sundays to church-Norman Rockwellish. I always felt kind of guilty about that being a priority and thought shouldn’t it be about the preaching, Sunday school, etc.. So, I was willing to drive where ever to find the ‘right church’ and that was really about my kids being happy in church. (I know, wrong motive).
Anyway, having visited a few churchs over the years and one for a significant length of time, I am happy to say that I am now a member of a church about a 10-15 minute car ride away and yes, I would walk to it if I had to. This has been a place of growth, of change, of belonging, of being loved, trusting enough to love back, ultimately a place where I’ve fallen in love with Jesus. I have been very committed to being there and took advantage of every opportunity that came along, whether it was cleaning bathrooms, being part of a bible study, volunteering in the office etc… I just wanted to be with these people. If I were any further away, then that might not have happened.
I think of the early church and how the believers constantly met together, shared everything they had, worshipped together each day and each day the Lord added to their group. The Holy Spirit was able to flow through them as a group and used them to further the family of God. I guess the point being that they had to be together to be used in this way.
Thanks Don for the link to Susan’s blog.
Hey…don’t anybody get me wrong: I’m all for good preaching, and good everything else at church. But my point here is that perhaps the unintended consequence of having the freedom to “move on” for any and every reason and the freedom to travel long distances to attend the “church of my choice” and be with the “people of my choice” has resulted in the belief that church is all about a small group of people (core leaders) meeting my needs. What if church is, in actuality, a place where the priesthood of believers minister to one another? Does it matter as much, then, where you attend church? I am not suggesting that it does not matter at all ~ again nobody get me wrong… There are places out there that will frown upon you volunteering to host a small group, pray for people, bring people meals and clean their house when they’re sick, and so on. If for some reason the church actually keeps you from reaching out and connecting with others in ministry and day-to-day life, well, walk another block perhaps…
Becky,
What really got me thinking about all of this hard was the conversations we’ve been having in class. How does our Christology affect our ecclesiology? Our individualism has matured into quite a beast, it seems.
S,
have you read Kathleen Norris? She talks about moving back to her grandmother’s house in a small town on the plains, and going to church (at one of the ?two in the town) with an assortment of people she doesn’t like but learns to love.
Dana
Dana,
Sounds like a good read. I’ll have to look for that. I’m surprised there are only two churches in the little town! One of the things that surprises me about small towns is the large number of churches that can be in a small area. Here in Old Town Littleton, there seems to be a church on almost every block! Within walking distance from my old house there would have been a choice of two Lutheran, 1 Catholic, 1 presbyterian, 1 Methodist, 1 Eastern orthodox, several bible, free and non-denominational churches… quite amazing.
Susan, I like the idea. I think it could help us be more involved missionally in a community where we and other attenders live. I really think, on balance, this would be beneficial. But in such a mobile society with so many churches within even just 10 minutes driving distance, unfortunately this would not fly with most. (Reminds me of my wife Deb’s penchant, or like, of the 19th century and the horse and buggy days.)
It is interesting Ted, that even limiting the choices to a 10 minute driving distance could present some option anxiety. This blessing of choice has its good points, and it’s bad. All I’m wondering in this post is whether an influx of people from the neighborhood who have abandoned their personal need to experience church “as they like it” and are ready and willing to simply love, in Jesus’ name, would make a difference in Kindgdom impact and Christian community.
Susan, I think it could make all the difference in the world. We’re here to love in Jesus’ name as his Body. It needs to be down to earth right where we all live. Not about any professionalism, but about ministry, as you say. About simply learning to love each other as Christ loves us. And extending that love.
Re Kathleen Norris, my favorite is “Cloister Walk”, followed by “Dakota” (lots of resonance for me, as I grew up in a small town, though not as small as hers) and “Amazing Grace- A Vocabulary of Faith”. You’re probably right about the number of churches-
D.
Nancy,
Think about your church. Then think about whether or not there is freedom there to love the people around you? That’s all I’m talking about. I think we might have this idea that the church down the street couldn’t possibly be good because after all its, well, just down the street! I’m not telling YOU that YOU should change churches (or anybody else). But there are a lot of people out there who are still “shopping” and “looking” and I just wondered out-loud what kind of a difference it would make if those people just threw out the long list and changed their priorities. A thought experiment, it is… but one that might make a difference where implemented, as God leads.
[...] A Hop, Skip, and Jump « The Philosophical Pastor [...]
Oh – this post hits close to home. I have attended, and been involved in, a church that’s a 1/2 hour drive from my home for over 14 years (we started driving that far because it was the only church of our particular non-denom that felt safe and comfortable after an unhappy leaving experience at another church).
Recently I have really wondered why I haven’t tried going to the church that is sitting, literally, at the end of the block that my house is on – about 7 houses away. True – it’s a denomination that I have never attended before, but that’s not the issue to me now that it might have been years ago. And there’s a new woman pastor there, whose child is in the same school as mine and where I work as a substitute teacher, which makes me want to at least visit even more. The only problem is – I love the church where I’m at and have many deep relationships there. So this is an issue I have been thinking about quite a bit…
Chris(tine),
You have developed important relationships over those 14 years that should not be discounted by any means! This post might not apply to you. Perhaps there is a way for you to extend yourself into that church down the street in small ways that make a difference, and go from there… These things are matters of prayer!
Blessings,
Susan
Susan,
I wasn’t reacting to much to your post as to what I have experienced at my church where I’ve been attending for 7-8 years. Indeed I like main thrust of your post and have wondered about something similar with one of the youth pastors at my church. We were contemplating the opposite. What if everyone in the church moved to the immediate neighborhood of the chruch and really, really proactively reached out the community. It would be very cool.
My comment was shaped in part by this incident. A few years ago a lady at my church(in leadership) made the comment that “people should stop complaining about not being fed and just go to their own closet and read their Bible.” At the time I agreed with her. We often had families leave the church and enter the church shopping mainstrem. Since then I have changed my mind on that point. If you are not being fed at church where do you go – Christian TV? (actually the internet has been great for me).
Additionally, the church I attend sees its uniqueness as being a truely authentic community where everyone loves each other. (I have heard other churches express similar sentiments about their loving congregations). It’s a very happy place on Sunday. It is also one of the easiest places to serve. Figure out how you want to serve and just do it. I’ve held some type of leadership role for the last 4-5 years. One Elder once commented that other bigger churches will one day learn from us and how we do community. I think this can easily and unintentionally (as can anything) become a source of pride. Moreover, (and I acknowledge that I am partly to blame) I have never felt so isolated and alone as I do now at this very loving community focused place. There is no sarcasm in that last statement – the people are genuinely loving. Hence my comments on this type of topic are tainted by my personal experience.
If the church down the street is preaching the Gospel – then I’m in, regardless of the music style, couches candles and all. If they are not preaching the Gospel – then I’ll hike the extra 5 miles.
[...] I kinda poured my heart out in a second comment on Susan’s post about cherry picking churches. (Note: I wrote my recent post on this topic after the first comment [...]
Nancy,
Randy Frazee has written a book, The Connecting Church, in which he discusses the power of Christians living both in close proximity to one-another but also reaching out in their own neighborhoods. This can take many forms: you can either decide to attend (and possibly revive!) the church down the street, or as you mention, corporately decide to move closer in to where the church is. Both ideas have limitations of course and if you have a church of 3,000 and everyone tries to move to the neighborhood…well… you can see that this might be a little unrealistic unless you suddenly expect a couple thousand homes to go up for sale within a 10 mile radius of the church, and all the people can afford them, and so on and so forth.
But I’m wondering why you’d want to leave your church given all the great things you have said about it. What do you attribute your feelings of alienation to? This is perhaps a conversation to have over Starbucks…
It’s a long, long story, may require 2 triple venti, SFV lattes, not just one!
N:
No problem… it’s on me, sis.
[...] today the topic is leap-froggin from church to church and Susan rightly emphasizes that in our consumerist mentality we tend to shop for the church that is cherry picked just for me. [...]
S: WordPress is getting wacky. I posted “The Gospel?…” on the 4th and it’s showing up now…hmmm
I linked here from another website and when I read your post it flew off the page at me. It is an answer to prayer. The small church I have been thinking about is not within walking distance,well not for me anyway,but is about 5 minutes to drive.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. No more wrestling for me. Just getting up and going and hopefully doing.
Hi Marchien,
Thanks for that encouragement! Blessings as you step out in faith to love as Jesus loved — wherever you are!
Susan, I wanted to let you know that your article never left me.
I struggled but am going to a church close by. I live in the country, but it is about a 5 minute drive. I have passed this church so many times and thought ‘nah’ I thank the Lord for your article as it even came to mind as I sat in a worship service a couple of weeks ago when the Pastor took a turn in his sermon that I still am mulling over but I know God will enlighten me in His time. I have been so blessed and am just going and listening and worshiping. God has reached deep into my heart through an elderly man with gentle eyes and a kind voice said a short prayer for me as the Pastor finished praying. Through the Pastors sermons, prayers and through the worship in song. One Sunday I just sat there and couldn’t keep the tears from streaming down my face. Actually got a little embarrassed as I didn’t have any kleenex.So had to sniff a lot;)
God knows what we are going through even if it is not voiced to others and I know led that kind man to say that quick but deeply touching prayer.I teared up and told him thank you.
Thank you Susan once again for sharing.
God has used it in my life and a friend that I shared it with who is now being blessed and used in a church near her home.
God Bless
I wanted to add, I pray God will use me in some way there in time:)
Marchien,
thank you for telling your story and I’m humbled that anything I write would be helpful in your journey with Christ. May God give you continued peace, and may His word be grounded deeply in your heart so that as you consider the preaching and teaching there, the Spirit of God will rule in your heart and make you wise, loving, and full of truth.